AnnFrank AnnieWaits CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn JamieStar Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Know when 12% Updates! Diaryland Buddylists, LiveJournal Syndication and The 12% XML/RSS NewsFeed make it easy AND stylish to Keep Up With Your Daily Quota of the Beer! It's Beer-Fueled MonkeyLove! Hosted by White Noise, The Forum of Fox-o-rama, The 12% BeerGarden is THE place to talk about all things 12% Beer! 12%Diaryland FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove In Transition: The BeerMate Drawings and The BeerButtons! I mean, how tacky has America become where a Dead Kennedys t-shirt will barely get a second glance but a Dixie Chicks shirt is a widely recognized statement of treason? Open discothekid's page in a new window Saturday, April 5, 2003 "It's just the only reason for breathing sometimes." Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 What if you get separated from your little group of fighters and run out of feminine hygiene products? Open skim's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 I'm in an awkward phase right now. Wearing braces, too tall and lanky, and will a boy ever want to kiss me? Ever? Oh, god. What if Brenda starts her periods before I do? I will die. Just DIE. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 I also think she should appear on Oprah, but Oprah just isn't interested in stories about strong women overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 I kept practicing my pimp walk while going to and from the car, purposefully performed a hit and run on a shopping cart, and then kept asking the price of everything at Just A Dollar. That was when I wasn’t groping myself inappropriately. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 I am responsible for 1.2 packages of consumed Oreos over the last four days. This is not my beautiful diet but rather a recipe for diabetes. I don’t care. Fuck anyone who says anything. Fuck anyone who looks at me cross-eyed. Fuck everyone. Fuck. Open weetabix's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 Her daughters looked to be about 12 or 13, but they had the voices of old men after years of cigar smoking and trying to pickle themselves in bourbon. Open mangus's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 Her daughters looked to be about 12 or 13, but they had the voices of old men after years of cigar smoking and trying to pickle themselves in bourbon. Open mangus's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 It took until 6am and Lou Reed's Walk On the Wild Side on a loop, but, by god, we did it. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, April 4, 2003 When you're having a conversation with someone who does not know you, it's probably not a good idea to squeal with joy and offer to have their baby, especially if you're both the same gender. Open marn's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 I’m highly convinced that the reason things have been so tense between us is because we’re both on our Male Periods. The rumors are true! Your periods do sync up during college! Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 If being stupid was a race, I'd write a letter to the present incumbent and suggest we declare a 'WAR ON STUPID'. Open mangus's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Every single muscle in my back fucking hurts and I just took my last painkiller which probably wasn't a very good idea since breakfast was several cigarettes and lunch was booze and yes, I was slightly drunk when I went into work. Open mollyx's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Oh look, here comes Nicolas Cage, looking just like he did in "Wild At Heart". What's that, Sailor? You want me to wear your snakeskin jacket? While naked? Oooh, I couldn't. Well, if you insist.... Open sundry's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Their eyes! The eyes are LOOKING at me! Blink, fuckers! Open jamiestar's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Hearing about my friends humping on the sand ranked somewhere between "Jeff, this is your new roommate, Carrot Top," and, "I think we can get the tumor, but you're going to lose your testicles," on the list of things I didn't want to hear. Open jeffy's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Now that I’ve got some plans figured out, I just need $50 million dollars. Open tvzero's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 I have done something horribly wrong that might require medical attention. Open skim's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 I'm looking for a good way to tell if I am coming down with insanity. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 Apparently I have the ability to charm the pants off of any male over 40, wheee! Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, April 3, 2003 The last thing I wanted to do today was to haul myself up on the elliptical machine. It's boring. It makes me tired. I sweat. I turn pink. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Hi, my name is Billi. I'm gonna show you my totally awesome breakdancing now! Open fadein's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 I didn’t know what she was doing, but I started to name the things in my head. Like the Twisty Twirly Ladder and Tickle Dancy Fingers and the Popping The Packing Bubbles and the Skooshy Skooshy with its backwards movement the Wooshy Wooshy. And then there was the movement I called The Pain Thumbs. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Being called a malicious, insensitive, mean spirited, heartless bitch is nothing to get upset about. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 I'm so hardcore, your mom crosses to the other side of the street when she sees me coming. Yeah. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 I’m sure all your tears, your bitching, your moaning, your griping, your whining, your yelling, and your screaming are all just elaborate ways in which you show how well adjusted you are. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, April 2, 2003 The more I hear about that disease called SARS, the more I think about the 1918 Spanish Influenza Pandemic. Open marn's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Any guy who says, "Dude, I love you!" and, "I can't believe I got beat at pool by a girl!" within ten minutes of meeting you is not just "a little drunk." He's what we average citizens call a "wanker." Open saintlouise's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Animal shows, once the epitome of tee vee dorkiness in his eyes, Are Now Cool Because The Freaking CAT Likes Them. Open marn's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Because of this and the fact that I tower over him by at least three inches, he will now be known as Tiny Dancer. Please make a note of it. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Long live Mangus! Open annfrank's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 "You are still weird." Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Don't even ask about that metal horned thing - he brought it home from Asia after, apparently, smoking a vat of opium. It's so ugly it burns holes in my retinas every time I see it. Open sundry's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 Even with the unibrow Salma Hayek is one of the sexiest bitches I’ve ever seen in my life. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 This friend of mine has been planning out babies since we were nine. Needless to say, I am very happy for her. Even if she won't consider naming her child Booger. Open mollyx's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 "Cheese Sandwiches: Are They Still American?" Open fadein's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 I had already found out how big the guy’s wang was. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 Once upon a time a man named David Letterman hosted the Oscars. Once upon a time there was a western movie made with a cast of only midgets. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 Yuck. I can feel holes in my mouth. Big 'ol holes. I feel like I've been mined. Open rudey's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 John has been laying drum tracks for us to write around at rehearsals while playing bass at the same time. That boy is one coffee cup short of becoming his own group. Open discothekid's page in a new window Monday, March 31, 2003 Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!