AdWhore AnnFrank BienSoul CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn Halee JamieStar JWalker LadeeLeroy LeeboZeebo Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Know when 12% Updates! DLand/LJ/NewsFeed More Buttons! 12% BeerHall Of Fame 12% Buttons! FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove 1. Marn is Best Journal AND Comedy-on-a-stick! 2. Disco - Best Writing? You know it. 3. Sweet Weet is our Drama Queen! 4. Kehla and Louise have been bitchslapped. They liked it! Diarist.net Winners! She said “Now you have a picture of my boobs on your boobs.” And laughed. So then I offered that maybe it was like lighting a candle at church. Sort of a sacrifice to the holy alter of boobies. Open weetabix's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 Note to self: stop speaking French with a Spanish accent. Open skim's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 Is it possible that Diaryland has finally arrived? And more importantly, will there be an Induction To Online Society ball in which we all wear white dresses and dance with handsome cadets from the local military school? Because damn, there’s just nothing like rug burn from a fresh crew cut. Open weetabix's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 There's nothing better than counteracting my natural noxious aromas than some pretty smelling pants, you know? Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 While the fellas exchanged man-like handshakes I slapped ‘em on the ass then walked on home. Open annfrank's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 I feel like I’m trapped in the “full menstrual jacket” episode of sex and the city. Open tvzero's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 The National language of Florida is Spanish. Open thecritic's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 Holy Chocolate Jesus Pies Batman, that just rules! Open discothekid's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 It is certain that someone out there will buy that tape for the express purpose of mastubation. Open fadein's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 "Banzai, White Devils! Your test brings dishonor to me and my family! I'll see you in the next world, shameful worm-people! Blaaarrrggghhh!" Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 I'm sure if my father found out I'd been fired he would raise a finger heavenward and say "No one fires MY son!" and then he'd go into the tribulation closet and find the guns and oreos and he'd set about taking out the entire Girl Scouting orgainization...one by one. Open mangus's page in a new window Saturday, June 7, 2003 Just admitting that I don't have a thing about shoes is probably enough in some circles to trigger a demand for DNA testing STAT to confirm that I actually am, you know, a woman. Open marn's page in a new window Friday, June 6, 2003 Sadly, there was no brain-eating. I always get a little bit of childlike hope in my heart that there will be brain-eating in movies about cannibals. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, June 6, 2003 Speaking of my acupuncturist... can acupuncture make you horny? I swear to god he keeps getting cuter and cuter. Open jwalker's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Life sucks, so I can’t be the fun-loving and mischievous Annie you all have come to know and love. Open anniewaits's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 the next day they show up with tickets to something or other i don't want to do and it blows a perfectly good weekend of sitting around on my ass watching it get bigger. Open adwhore's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 I hate June so much that I'd being willing to grow an ass pimple just so I could say, "Hey June, lick my ass pimple, you dill hole." Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 I guess you could question Gibson's concept of presenting feminine beauty as something that will reflect her lover's face rather than present her own. Open sundry's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 French word for croissant is...croissant. French word for baguette is...baguette. Open skim's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Is Bill Oscar-Winning Director Steven Soderbergh? Open fadein's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 I use citronella, a natural compound which is an amazingly ineffectual bug repellant but which my spousal unit claims has a lock on the title of Best Penis Repellant Ever. Open marn's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 That picture's going to give me fucking nightmares, though. Christ. He looks like that guy from Star Trek whose name I can't remember cuz I'm not a fucking nerd, alright? I just saw a poster once. Open mollyx's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Esteban says that he’s an atheist, but he seems to believe in God once a month, when he utters a prayer of thanks that he was born with a Y chromosome. Open weetabix's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 This was actually lisa’s last day, so when the woman said, “why don’t you ask one of those guys to help you?” lisa felt compelled to respond with “why don’t you eat my shit?” Open tvzero's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 I never want to hear the word “erection” come out of Jerry Lewis’ mouth EVER again! Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Every once in a while, I think I hear the faint sounds of the ghost of my stereo, crying out in protest against its most vile kidnapping. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Open mangus's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 Ryan: Todd's eatin' a nanner. Lee: Or a carefully disguised penis. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Thursday, June 5, 2003 It was almost like an all-new interpretation of the songs. I liked it. Plus, they're all into trying new things and I like getting hit doggie style. Musically, of course. Open jwalker's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 And so, in a pathetic attempt to have the coolness rub off on me, I've gone and bought me a SWiSH tee shirt. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 10 days until my "Charro the Cuchie-Cuchie Girl" themed wedding at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Open halee's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 I've pulted my gershings and whipno'ed my tay! Open fadein's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 I suspect that his head is filled with ground up pigbits and bovinebits, and that it's all mushy in there... Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 And it's not like he's going to get some horrible terminal illness and we'll establish a bond in his last days when we both realize that life is short and love, love, love. No. Time or words or cancer can't fix this shit. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 “I would have thought you’d try to draw attention AWAY from your ears.” Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 it's oppressively hot. i didn't know they had seasons on this here side of the bay. color me sweaty. Open adwhore's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 Bah, what a world, what a world. I feel like chortling that, like the Wicked Witch of the West, which would be appropriate because I really enjoy her stripey socks. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 I still have fond memories of being judas, despite feeling like a hypocrite, since I was clearly on the non-god team at that point. But still, I killed. Open tvzero's page in a new window Wednesday, June 4, 2003 "U. G. L. Y. You ain't got no alibi! You ugly, hey hey, you ugly!" Open rudey's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 I seem to accidentally sprayed some extra urine. Open marn's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 When that happens I shall drop trou and bend over and let the entire Girl Scout national staff kiss my meaty bottom. Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 Not only did we see dolphins twice but there was this huge fucking ray swimming, like, two feet away from us. It was so neat. I wanted to catch it and use it as a floaty. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 While we were at the mall I also bought a container of Coconut Body Butter from The Body Shop and jesus fucking christ that stuff is awesome. I want to eat it. I want to roll in it naked. I want to ice a cake with it. Open sundry's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 In a stunning display of athleticism, I attempted to slide into second base tonight, and then my cleats out witted me. Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 nothing spells armageddon quite as mmm mmm good as two headed turtles. yummy delish. Open adwhore's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 Jesus! Don't you guys know it's really obvious that you're looking down our shirts? I mean, I know they're spectacular... but geez! Open jwalker's page in a new window Tuesday, June 3, 2003 Anthony talked about butthair a lot. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 "Hey, uh, you guys don't mind if I air guitar, do ya?" Open halee's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 Operation: Find a New Lady Friend Without My Penis Inexplicably Shooting Out of My Shorts will be fully in effect. But not, you know, too fully. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 I can't leave the info with my family because my mother will be on the phone with the Paris hotel everyday, making sure they're sanitizing their sheets and accusing them of ripping us off. Open skim's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 I’d also like to take this time to address the good folks at The Learning Channel. I’m sure you’re doing a great public service by devoting airtime to the lives of hermaphrodites. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 My hips hurt. I do not know why my hips hurt. Normally, they only hurt like that when… well, let’s just say it shouldn’t hurt from just laying hard wood and never speak of it again. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 “Did he tell you about the ‘little flapping penises all over the place’?” Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 Ella just has a way about her voice that just makes you think you've never heard her before and you just have to enjoy her right over from the very beginning. Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 They eat things you would only consider if, say, you were perhaps competing on Fear Factor. Open sundry's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, June 2, 2003 Click Here for the 12% Archives, You Sweet-Lookin' MonkeyLover! 12% BeerHall of Fame Former BeerMates Who Went Above & Beyond The Call Of Duty And Made The Ultimate Sacrifice So We Could Practice MonkeyLoving And Not Be Shunned By Society. All Hail The BeerHall Of Famers! AnnieWaits Fu-Fu GoFigure Jeffy KellyK Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!