Ann-Frank- AnnieWaits- CuppaJoe- DiscoTheKid- FadeIn- Fu-Fu- JamieStar- Jeffy- LadeeLeroy- Mangus- Wangitude- MollyX- Ms-M- Rudey- Saint-Louise- Skim- Sundry- TheCritic- TVZero- Weetabix-

News of the Beer Diaryland Member? Be sure and add twelvebeer to your buddylist to know when 12% updates, like these Foxy MonkeyLovers. LiveJournal User? You can keep track of our updates with the 12% LiveJournal page! You could also roll around naked in our updates using our NewsFeed! - 12%Diaryland - FreeBeerLovers - Archives - FAQs - BeerMates = Foxy Bitches! - Buttons! - BeerGarden MessageBoard! - Pitas! - Dland! - XML/RSS Newsfeed Food is a basic human need, people. I’ll be damned if I’m going to chew more than necessary just so I’ll have some food left on my plate while everyone else is still halfway through eating. The natural companion to Weetabix's "I'm that girl" entry. You girls rock my casbah. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Saturday, March 8, 2003 Everyone is now calling me "J-Dawg". I even had friends volunteer to be my "bitches & hos". Rock! Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Saturday, March 8, 2003 Was it Shakespeare or Snoop Dogg who said, "I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind"? Willy loved to smack his bitches up. Open skim's page in a new window Saturday, March 8, 2003 I realized at that moment that somewhere along the way my brother had learned social skills that are completely foreign to me. I should really look into where he got them. I wish I had Dooglas' social skills. I seem incapable of offending people, dammit! Open discothekid's page in a new window Saturday, March 8, 2003 I’ve gone from being the kid that everyone trusts and wants to work with, to the stupid kid that eats paste and licks scented markers to see if they taste as good as they smell. And what's wrong with eating paste? Open thecritic's page in a new window Saturday, March 8, 2003 And now there's Nixon flipping burgers in your living room. Thankfully, he is not naked. Instead, there is a flimsy nightie with flapping birds covering up all of the former president's naughty bits. Gives new meaning to "Tricky Dick" Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, March 7, 2003 Ten minutes with “Sk8er Boi” and I bet even Gandhi would be ready to fuck shit up. We are in love / Haven't you heard / How we rock each others world? Open tvzero's page in a new window Friday, March 7, 2003 Certain things haven’t changed about me, like my sarcastic wit and dashing good looks. And my sense of humility is higher than it ever was before! El Critico Fuego is so dashing he stars in adult movies. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, March 7, 2003 Anyway, the other day at the gym while Timothy was bench pressing, I noticed the placement of the bar was not parallel with the lines in the ceiling. Damn. I thought I was a perfectionist... Open skim's page in a new window Friday, March 7, 2003 When we were dumped in here we were fresh, soft, unaware of what we were getting into. Joey loves the candy, and can't fit into his pants. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Friday, March 7, 2003 7:45 pm, I am aware of a gentle kiss on my cheek from my daughter, and then she sneaks noisily out of my room, slamming my door shut and "whispering" in a voice loud enough to wake the dead, "SHE'S STILL SLEEPING. SHOULD I STILL BE QUIET?" Squeeza-Louisa! Do you want me to mail you some chicken soup? I gots some chicken soup for ya if you need it. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Thursday, March 6, 2003 I've read that liberal dosages of vodka clear up cramps quite nicely. Or make you forget that you have an abdomen at all. Why am I getting the feeling that we'll be reading about Weet in SF on Fark.com? Open weetabix's page in a new window Thursday, March 6, 2003 This is my ex getting traded for a pack of cigarettes to a guy named Bruno- which I'll gladly take if I can't get the child support I'm owed. I've heard that Bruno can be very gentle. Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, March 6, 2003 Joey had some bizarre mental illness, not highly documented due to it's rarity at the mo', that caused him to open his mouth and let his belly rumble. M does rude things with candy. Gobstoppers should hire her for marketing, really. Open msm's page in a new window Thursday, March 6, 2003 this is a true story. in the first week of knowing eli i threw my stereo remote control at his head because he pissed me off so bad. first week, people! i fucking rock. I'm so thrown off by reading New Annie that I can't even make a dirty innuendo designed to piss off Mr. Heckafresh, Annie's lovah. Damn. Open anniewaits's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 It is physically impossible for me to be in flirt mode with the man whose garbage I heaved into not six weeks earlier. He has seen me throw up and get all weepy-eyed and have a big drool string hanging out of my mouth. Damn Weet, if this lasts much longer, I'm gonna mail you some good Canadian drugs. We have thermonuclear-powered stuff here. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 May and I had a discussion last night on what to give up for Lent. May said she'd give up Sprite and I decided to stop eating babies. We're the best non-Catholics ever. Molly says "Shake that booty, white boy!" Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 I haven’t really had time to fall down and break limbs or run over celebrities or any other of the wacky misadventures I invent for myself. My back gets little itchy bits all over whenever I read Jonny now. Open tvzero's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 I don't know what's worse the laughter or revulsion that I felt at the same time. M is entombed in bad-date-land. Surely with our combined powers we can bribe someone GOOD to go out with her? Let's use our powers for good, for once. Open msm's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Ya know I wish the drama in my life was good drama. I wish I got the "Luke...I am your father..." shit, but NO. I get Girl Scout crap. Always with the Girl Scout drama. Mangus will make us all name tags, yes! Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 It would be a “classy strip joint”. Isn’t classy strip joint an oxymoron? How much classier can you make grinding a poll, wearing an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination, and shoving your butt in someone's face? El Critico Fuego loves classy pole-grinding. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Dear Mother Nature, Fark you mang! You think you're all that? Dumpin' this white crap all over the bloody place and expectin' good, honest, caring, sexy mama's such as myself to clean up after your mess? I don't think so. PSA: M is not really a mama, though she did call Mother Nature a slutty skanky whore on the email to me this morning. Open msm's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 the sausage wasn't quite up to par with my usual sausage, and the Jambalaya suffered as a whole. Plus that and it made me damn gassy. Not a pleasant evening. Can't... breath... crack a... window! Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Whatever it was, it was nice. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Once I’ve wielded such a mighty and intimidating tool, it is hard to get rid of that mark of shame. No amount of groping or apologizing will suffice. Okay… maybe a little groping would, but NOT apologizing. Nope. I’m one tough cookie and I mean business. There are innumerable problems that groping can solve. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 I’m the girl everyone says hi to at work. The girl who always smiles automatically. The girl who physically cannot help herself from smiling at people who smile at her and once caught herself smiling at a cartoon dog on television with a lopsided grin. I have that smiling problem too. It's worse when I'm drunk. Open weetabix's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 Good afternoon, everybody! It's only 12:30 and already I feel like shoving both fists through the wall! Don't ya just LOVE it?! I can already tell that today is going to be a GREAT day! Hooray! Molly, when I have the dearly departed in my dreams, I have a strong feeling that they're here, with us. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 Maybe I should self-prescribe something like an hour of Wham! and a six pack of Rolling Rock to fix myself or something. You can never go wrong with vaguely homoerotic pop and beer. PSA: This entry contains electronics-carrying boobage! Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 I've been instructed to update. That's a lot of pressure, I may need to ease into it. Thank you to the person who pressured Keh. I think we can all agree that the world is a better place when we get to read New Kehla. Open rudey's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 I was a gay woman in love with Nikki Taylor in this dream. Leroy cares about the tragic models. Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 I felt like I was dating Ghadaffi. Ms-M is good at picking men. Maybe she should try Mangus' cheese-rubbing technique? Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 My ears smell like cheese. I don't know why but they do. I'm oddly turned on by this, but slightly disturbed because I don't remember if I recently rubbed cheese on my head. He's into cheese-rubbing. Pfft, like we didn't know that already. Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 Get dressed, brushed, and make sure no dried drool is encrusted in the corner of my mouth. Joey is a drooling idiot. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Tuesday, March 4, 2003 For a brief moment I deluded myself into thinking he loved me. Marn gets snubbed by a cat. What else is new? Open marn's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 I popped the zit, only, strangely, it didn’t fully pop. Sweet Jebus, I'm all a'scared and grossed out now! Open tvzero's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 I had Indian food on Saturday night, and then some drinks with friends. I was chastised for winning 4 games out of 5 at pool. I was commanded to smack the ass of an inebriated man I barely knew. My ass still hurts, dammit. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 My mom’s dad died Friday, 16 days after he was diagnosed with liver cancer. Aww Jamie. Here's some Canadian sugar to make you feel better. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 The search for Mr. Right continues. Let's get M some action, shall we? Who knows some pretty Canadian boys? Open msm's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 I flailed my middle fingers at the partition and said "I would love to!" This line made me spurt my water laughing. Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 Did you know that Jeb! was in an airplane and that airplane got struck by lightning? Yeah. No one was hurt (plane included), so I can say HA! and not go to hell. HA! Molly rambles incoherently better than 99% of diaryland! Open mollyx's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 Mmmm. Outback Steakhouse. I’d marry you if you were a human being… and had good pension. This guy does "it" with food. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 Yeah, I know, it would've been funnier if I had actually knocked myself out, but I doubt I'd be in any shape to write about it. Pudding-Wrassler Extraordinaire! Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Monday, March 3, 2003 You can now "Syndicate" 12% by using our new RSS NewsFeed! This brings 12% updates directly to your desktop through a small piece of "newsfeed" software available through sites such as FeedReader or Headline News! (Both are free!) 12% on your desktop! Imagine the unfettered MonkeyLove! IF THIS CONFUSES YOU, AS IT DID THE 12% MONKEYS, WE WILL HELP YOU SET THIS UP! LEAVE A MESSAGE ON THE GUESTBOOK (ON LEFT) OR EMAIL US AND WE'LL HOOK YOU UP! Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!