...and your sister has a new baby which is your first ever niece and both Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone and DAMN THIS PISTACHIO SHAKE IS GOOD...
I am glad that his mom and pop came together in a passionate embrace, emotions flaring, no doubt fueled by strawberry wine and the rhythmic pumping reverberations of the popular disco music of the day.
There was also a fair amount of psychedelic colors pulsing in the background. And probably some guys on unicycles, carrying pizzas. And a talking dog named "Frederick." And a clown. Most definitely a clown.
French people are already funny, but a Frenchman dressed like Bjorn from Abba who has convinced thousands that Aliens are coming to reclaim creation, now that’s just terrific Vaudeville.
My biggest concern though? My wardrobe. I have two comfortable pairs of pants to my name, both of which look like I've been attacked by rabid dogs while wearing them.
Note to J-Lo: Honey, I get it. You're sleeping with Ben Freakin' Affleck who you find totally HOTT and Who Makes You Feel Like A Woman In A Way No Other Man Has.
Even though I typically wear only the same 3 makeup items, I always feel compelled to bring everything from the scary green glitter eyeshadow to the waxy dried up too-dark lipstick. Because you never know.
