Ann-Frank- AnnieWaits- CuppaJoe- DiscoTheKid- FadeIn- Fu-Fu- JamieStar- Jeffy- LadeeLeroy- Mangus- Marn- MollyX- Ms-M- Rudey- Saint-Louise- Skim- Sundry- TheCritic- TVZero- Weetabix-

Our good friend Leroy is taking a break from the D-Land, yo. All Our Best For The LadeeLeroy Show! News of the Beer Diaryland Member? Be sure and add twelvebeer to your buddylist to know when 12% updates, like these Foxy MonkeyLovers. LiveJournal User? You can keep track of our updates with the 12% LiveJournal page! You could also roll around naked in our updates using our NewsFeed! - 12%Diaryland - FreeBeerLovers - Archives - FAQs - BeerMates = Foxy Bitches! - Buttons! - BeerGarden MessageBoard! - Pitas! - Dland! - XML/RSS Newsfeed Then they stuck me in the corner and placed a pointy hat on my head. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Saturday, March 15, 2003 "...those women are either...um...transvestite...or they have some type of gland problem..." Open mangus's page in a new window Saturday, March 15, 2003 When we got to his house, he was sitting on the front porch, drunk, and not wearing any pants. Open mollyx's page in a new window Saturday, March 15, 2003 since i'm at work and no one is here and i grew up in the hood, i'm wondering what i can steal Open anniewaits's page in a new window Saturday, March 15, 2003 The other day, we had cheese quesadillas for lunch with fresh guacamole, homemade salsa, and sour cream. Now, that's a meal I could happily roll around naked with, even if the tortillas got stuck to my asscrack. Open sundry's page in a new window Saturday, March 15, 2003 "Does this mean I can start calling the greenery outside my apartment 'Anti-War Shrubbery' instead of bush?" Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 You know, I can barely stand to watch the news anymore. I see pictures of all these young men in uniform, listen to their bravado, and it just kills me. Open marn's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 “I can demonstrate just how easy it is to pull up a report while your working on something else. Kehla, will you come sit in my lap, please?” Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 Today is when my spring break officially starts and I’ll be sure to live it up, go to the beach, run around naked, sleep with anything that isn’t nailed down, dance the night away and all that other crap associated with teen drunkenness and debauchery. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 Be on the lookout though, for four Amish girls, one of whom might be wearing discounted designer jeans. Open skim's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 My poor bare cubicle walls are screaming to be decorated in festive movie posters and pictures of Colby. Are ya sure they aren't screaming about your lack of mouthwash? Open msm's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 Seriously. For those interested, my price is an estimated nine dollars an hour. See? I'm not that cheap of a whore, Mom. A "Whoring For $9" Anti-War Entry. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 Why he would start up a conversation remotely connected to sports is beyond me as I have trouble distinguishing a basketball from a Frisbee. so, Jonny, how 'bout those Kings? Open tvzero's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 Really, what people must think of me? So now I must go on the record to say: Look, I am really a nice person. I am. A little cynical and seemingly bitter at times, and sure 99% of the population drives me absolutely up the fucking wall, but look, I am a goddamn ray of sunshine, okay? In this episode, A-F totally damns herself to hell. Open annfrank's page in a new window Friday, March 14, 2003 If you want to just send me random snap-shots of your penis, you may feel free to do so, but I’ll just assume that it’s the most attractive aspect of you and, I’m sorry to say, I like guys who are cuter than an anonymous dick. A "Generous Genitalia" Anti-War Entry Open mangus's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 Did you hear that noise? It was the sound of the hearts of each and every lesbian in the world strumming in anticipation of getting a little Weetaction. It's almost deafening. Open weetabix's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 A 48 year-old woman and her 50 year-old beau have been dating happily for three decades never having once lived under the same roof. I believe this is the secret to holding onto a man. No, the secret is a quality pair of handcuffs. Open msm's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 I mean, grandma would go daaays without a bowel movement. Hell, her constipation probably saved half a rainforest. Yay! A "Cavalcade of Caca" Entry! Open skim's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 There’s no slave labor quite like your parents when you’re sick. They wait on you hand and foot, and come to your every beck and call. Try to do that with your fellow college students and they might pee in your mouth while you’re sleeping. A "Peeing For Peace" Anti-War Entry Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 I hadn't had a decent sleep in over a fortnight, because of my aforementioned bed partner's tendency to emit a nightly snoring sound wave that had been known to shatter windows and provoke animals to eat their young as far away as Toronto. Little Known Fact: Although I am an animal in Toronto, I've never eaten my young. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 I also refrained from busting a move right there on the sidewalk. I had my sheet of cardboard with me, so I totally could've done some breakdancing, yo. Little Known Fact: I dance like a white man. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Thursday, March 13, 2003 I'm over being upset, partly because I had two gin and tonics on my lunch break, and partly because that's a lie. Little Known Fact: I've never had a gin & tonic. Open rudey's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 My boss wore a new shirt today, and it's cute. It can only mean one thing: I'm totally fired. They'd be crazy, yo. Open rudey's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 On a happier note, today I upped the leg press to 355 pounds. Oh to have graffiti skills so I could tag that suckah with the words "Marn's Bitch". I want a t-shirt with that on it. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 I do like lemon pies, though. My stomach says, "Yes! Yes! Oh, yes! More, baby, more! Faster!" I'm gonna start calling St-L "Costanza". Open saintlouise's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Do you ever get in those ultra black moods where you're just itching for some kind of confrontation? Like, you wouldn't mind it if the suspicious guy on the corner tried to mug you because you want the chance to kick someone in the groin? I kick like a girl. Open skim's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 It really isn't very often you can run into a stanger on the street and realize you've seen their genitals. Heh, you don't live in Toronto, do you? Open fadein's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 I read that lawmakers are actually wasting time deciding that all House Office buildings will longer use the word "French" on the menu. Well. I bet that changes the goddamn world, don't you think? Funniest thing ever about just about the stupidest thing on the planet right now. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Me: Wait, I know. What if I put some dog poop in your laptop? JB: Oh my god, and closed it. So the poop would be like, ploorrch. Me: It'd be smashed everywhere! There's no cleaning that! Everything's better with Pooh! Open sundry's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Well, one of my best buddies is back in Los Angeles, after an action-packed weekend in the Keys. Some made out with an adolescent in this entry! That's kind of sick. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 I have the hand writing of a serial killer. Word to your muthah, yo. Open msm's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Boy, I bet a bunch of you are sleeping now, just from reading this. This Joey pantyliner is one boring ass. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Wednesday, March 12, 2003 I am sad to report that the new Nick Cave album sucks giraffe balls. The new Johnny Cash however, is really good. Music reviews are always good with the term "sucks giraffe balls". Open discothekid's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 I've stumbled into the dream of some 40-year-old D&Der, who had a little too much of the substance of choice, and fell asleep in his Cheetos residue watching re-runs of "Star Trek Voyager" and hoping for wet dreams about Kate Mulgrew. She knows how to do it in "The JaneWay". Open saintlouise's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 Damn baby, I don't know if I should even be telling you this because I know it's going to hurt you and I hate to see a sweet journal like yourself get hurt. You been so good to me journal, you been nothing but sweet angel cakes of love. I may just cry... I will miss my Dancing Meat Inspector... thankfully, Leroy will be coming back to us after her creative hiatus! Yay! Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 The closest thing we have to animals down here are those stupid ducks and that hairy kid that lives down the hallway. Ducks don't kill people, people kill people. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 There is also a huge amount of 'simulated urine' being pushed around on carts in that place. I'm not kidding. If you see a kindly faced old Japanese man headed your way with a cart of a dozen or so 5 gallon jugs of brown/yellow fluid, you can bet that urine has been simulated. Why am I suddenly craving apple juice? Open fadein's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 It's really good. It has lots of words and stuff. I still need convincing, it looks like a sleepy book. Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 KIDS...just say NO to pouring yr heart out, OK? Keep that shit all bottled up nice and tight. Suppression is HEALTHY. Why, I suppress things every damn day! Yay! Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 i prayed he wouldn’t bite me, as i still have painful memories of a zoo incident involving a six-year-old me, a half-eaten sandwich, and a crabby peacock. heehee, you said "peacock"! Open tvzero's page in a new window Tuesday, March 11, 2003 Today after work J and I went to Home Depot to buy...something. Actually I wasn't buying anything at all, J was buying some metal something or other, and I was just standing around trying to look as butch as posible while fondling large bolts. This entry made my nipples hurt. Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 I walked down the hill to Sbux at the gate of Chinatown and it was one of those rare moments when everything is exactly where it is supposed to be in the universe. Damn. I want to go to the City By The Bay. Yo. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 I half expect to receive an e-mail from my boss saying, “I got the memo about your new shirt, well done!” Keh looks hot in her new MemoShirt. Open rudey's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 I’d also hate for heaven to be like an Ivy League school where every past digression gets pored over. It would stink to be barred from heaven because of that bug I stepped on in 1st grade or that hobo I backed over in the supermarket parking lot. This entry made my hobos hurt. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 "I wonder if Renee will sleep with me? She slept with Paulo. Why not me?" Renee is such a slut. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 After that we headed across the street to see "City of God". If you're in the mood for a heavy true story, this is the film for you. Sure it won't change your life like "Old School" did for me, but it will make you think. M just wants to Rock, DJ, because it's makin' her feel alright. Open msm's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 Life rules, man, when you're actually getting off your ass and doing something. Action. It's a good thing. Hott Zine Action. Open mollyx's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 This guy's idea of a good time is my idea of Vacations From Hell, and I tease him by saying I suffer vicariously through him. I suffer vicariously through Marn. Heehee. Open marn's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 If I did write an entry it would have gone something like this: I took my pills. Drank some water. Puked. Went to sleep. Puked. Puked. Slept. Puked. Puked. Puked. Slept. Slept. Puked. Puked. Puked. Took more pills. Puked. Slept. Slept. Puked. Puked. Puked. Puked. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Stop lathering your puke! Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 Apparently when I am tired, I go all Southern. I should be whoring around with my first cousin any day now. This entry made Weet's cousins hurt. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 We are booked for a 7-day cruise in May! Picture me jumping up and down and squealing and generally just dorking the fuck out, and you will get an idea of how excited I am. Who hates Sundry right now? In a good way, of course... Open sundry's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 Damn. I'm gonna buy this Tee for Tracy. Open marn's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 My new favourite saying is "Depression can be a real motherfucker". Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, March 10, 2003 Just a brief note to let you know that I'm higher than fuck on coffee, little chocolates and cranberry juice. This entry made my cranberries hurt. Open fadein's page in a new window Sunday, March 9, 2003 You can now "Syndicate" 12% by using our new RSS NewsFeed! This brings 12% updates directly to your desktop through a small piece of "newsfeed" software available through sites such as FeedReader or Headline News! (Both are free!) 12% on your desktop! Imagine the unfettered MonkeyLove! IF THIS CONFUSES YOU, AS IT DID THE 12% MONKEYS, WE WILL HELP YOU SET THIS UP! LEAVE A MESSAGE ON THE GUESTBOOK (ON LEFT) OR EMAIL US AND WE'LL HOOK YOU UP! Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!