AdWhore AnnFrank AnnieWaits BienSoul CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn Halee JamieStar JWalker LadeeLeroy LeeboZeebo Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Due to Hott Writing Action, LadeeLeroy is an active BeerMate again! Have you checked out BienSoul, AdWhore, Halee, & JWalker yet!? Know when 12% Updates! DLand Favorites, LJ Syndication and an XML/RSS NewsFeed make it easy! Seen all our banners yet? We got lots and lots! Mangus designed a whole bunch which make lesser mortals squeal with delight because Joey made a few and even lovely Marn contributed! More Buttons! 12% BeerHall Of Fame 12% Buttons! FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove i got food poisoning from a turkey sandwich on thursday, and, whew, boy, the party just ain't ended since. Open adwhore's page in a new window Saturday, May 10, 2003 Get back in my pants, or wherever it is you go when I'm done with you. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Saturday, May 10, 2003 There is no better parting gift than someone feeling up your butt. Open thecritic's page in a new window Saturday, May 10, 2003 1.) Artists have to be vain, sensitive, drunkards, horny and constantly insulted. Open mangus's page in a new window Saturday, May 10, 2003 I won't mention the My Little Ponies though. I miss my horsies.... Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Saturday, May 10, 2003 Apparently she got this badass new offer in some place that I've already forgotten the name of. Frisca? Fresco? Fresca? Look, it starts with an F and it sounds like a refreshing soda. All I know is that it's not here. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Sure, she's cool, smart, funny, has a cute picture and all that, but dating someone right now ranks about a 2 or 3 out of 10 or so on my Concern-O-Meter. Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 [Moe: I have no idea what this is or what it means, and that's why I like it.] Open halee's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Your mission is to kill me if I am in any relationship and I am all “OH MY GOD COLDPLAY YOU SPEAK TO ME!” and cry myself to sleep, smearing my Ultima Mascara on my Laura Ashley throw pillow. Open annfrank's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Sigh. This Hugh Jackman crush is turning me into someone I don't like. I don't even recognize myself anymore. Look away... I'm hideous! Open jwalker's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 There are also quite a few "Duck Crossing" signs posted, in the attempt to keep the birds from meeting death face-to-face under the wheels of Tiffany's brand-new Mercedes with the 6-disc CD changer and sporty sunroof. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 By the age of ten I had already shot my first gator with a twenty-two caliber rifle. Open discothekid's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Thora is crazy and stalks my house when she thinks I've stopped loving her. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 It was like we were suddenly in that Sesame Street skit where the Muppets push letters together to make words. “Ta!... Wah!... Ta!….Ta..wah..ta….Tawahta….” Open weetabix's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Rachael Ray is an ugly cow. Do you still love me? Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Look at him, not only does he have a tiny gay purple car in real life he has to ride around in a tiny gay purple bumper car, too. Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 I think you are very hot and I like to watch you cook meals. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 President Bush is given a warm welcome by the Teletubbies after landing on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 I know I want me a woman who’s a writhing bag of STDs. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 I mean, after all, strangers could be peeing on our trees for heaven's sake! Open marn's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 Visit Stonehenge, try not to knock anything over Open halee's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 So, now begins the battle of What We Want vs. What We Can Pay For. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 It was a picture of me and my big breasted friend Jessica; I had blue hair and she had red hair and since it was taken with a digital camera the colors were crazy bright. Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, May 9, 2003 What are you doing? What are you up to? What did you do today? things like that. It's always "nuttin" even though my days are filled with wonderous andventures filled with unexpected whimsey, heart-pounding thrills, and cowboys in sparkly pants. Open mangus's page in a new window Thursday, May 8, 2003 You should really be here, though, to experience my hair. It's so goddamn soft and it smells like vanilla. Spicy vanilla. Like I rubbed some kind of baked good on my head or something. Open mollyx's page in a new window Thursday, May 8, 2003 "Is this the person that's trying to sell us that Time Machine? We're not interested. We told you to quit calling." Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window Thursday, May 8, 2003 I think we all know what a lack of sickness means. Oh, yeah. Selling your own plasma for quick and easy profits. Bling bling and so forth. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 It took every shred of my ethical integrity to not say, "I went to second base with my boyfriend in the stairwell next to the English Faculty Lounge; you know, the one where all the kids smoke" during the interview. Open biensoul's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 my aunt told me that when i was about 7 and she got pregnant with her first child i told her "that's gonna hurt." she asked "how do you know that?" i said, "because it always hurts on little house on the prarie." Open adwhore's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 Fuck it, you gotta start sometime! Maybe I will be when I'm 40! I can be one of those "Look at me! I'm 40 and in the best shape in my life!" people, and everyone will agree that I am a "Hot Ticket". Open jwalker's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 So now that they have the human genome mapped, I'm guessing it's just a matter of time before they find and correct the tragic flaw in the Y chromosome that leaves many men unable to remove an empty roll from the toilet paper dispenser and attach a new roll. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 Maybe one day, I’ll live in a society where catching stuff on fire is not only socially acceptable but encouraged. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 Open rudey's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 I really never thought I'd say this. This is definitely a sentence I've never uttered before. But... Open halee's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, May 7, 2003 I think it adds up to HUNDREDS of dollars per month! Dude, the acupuncture is $75/week! And totally and completely worth it. Which is why I'm giving up on the singing lessons. For a while at least. I'm pain free and LOVING it! Open jwalker's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 No longer were you able to hold yourself to my ass. No longer were you able to protect my special bits from the elements. No longer could you perform your function as panties. Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 Officials would have to shut down the runway for precautionary purposes, and I’d be taken to some secluded room, interrogated, and promptly strip searched by a security guard named Bubba… or at least that’s how the fantasy goes… Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 It is our duty to train the idiots. If we don’t achieve that, we’ll have at least annoyed and punished them. Think of it as helping to aim the Karmic Squirt Gun at all who deserve it. We’re all better off. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 I haven't worn deodorant under my left arm in about two weeks. Open fadein's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 My pants are driving me nuts. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 I've only spotted a couple of nuts and some old grannies sporting face masks on the subway. I like to live dangerously and refuse to cover my mouth. I'm a realist/fatalist/forgetful sum bitch. Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 "Black T-shirt, dark jeans. Glasses and Bright Eyes. A bandage on my wrist and a cigarette in my hand. I am so fucking emo, I could cry." Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 If I have nipple rings, I'll have an extra place to clip errant pens, paperclips, and other various office supplies that are clipable. Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 Well, all of my exams are done, and I can safely say with full authority that I have no idea how I did in my accounting class. It's a real bitch that the classes in my chosen major are by and far the most difficult ones for me. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 The only thing more important than protecting her owners from the threat of home invaders is proper butt hygiene. Open weetabix's page in a new window Tuesday, May 6, 2003 I want to say I can gracefully handle situations with high traffic, panicked youngsters, and puke lectures. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 "...writhe in the burning conflagration of my all-consuming MAN-BOOB LASERS!" Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 I've only met my sweet lady three times, but each encounter has been sweeter than the last. She brings me to places I didn't even know I could go. When I'm with her, it's pure joy and I couldn't be happier. Open fadein's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 When something like this happens, it really makes you take a long look at your own life and stupid stuff like a zit, extra fat, being a little broke, etc... really isn't that important. Open jwalker's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 So of course I liked X-men, didn't you? The theater did reek a little of weed and War Hammer but that's to be expected. Open rudey's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 One midget would sit on the ground with a balloon in their lap, then the other midget would basically make a running start and then hump the other one until the balloon popped. Open halee's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 Despite wearing thick gloves and an old winter coat to protect my arms, I end up looking like I got into a fight with a cougar or something. Open marn's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 We won't even contemplate what sorts of hideously unspeakable germs might be incorporated in The Bushy Tail of Bacterial Pestilence and Disease. Open marn's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 "Shorry...I didn't mean to shnoop" Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 We are, all of us, destined to relive our casual cruel strokes of history each and every day. I can only hope that it is to teach us to be better people. I can only hope. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 Policemen, teachers, military personnel, presidents, clergymen – I get the same queasy feeling around them that they secretly kick puppies and break the arms off of babies for sport. Open tvzero's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 I must admit that my panties were slightly damp after I read this. Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, May 5, 2003 Click Here for the 12% Archives, You Sweet-Lookin' MonkeyLover! 12% BeerHall of Fame Former BeerMates Who Went Above & Beyond The Call Of Duty And Made The Ultimate Sacrifice So We Could Practice MonkeyLoving And Not Be Shunned By Society. All Hail The BeerHall Of Famers! Fu-Fu GoFigure Jeffy KellyK Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!