AdWhore AnnFrank BienSoul CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn Fu-Fu Halee JamieStar JWalker LadeeLeroy LeeboZeebo Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Know when 12% Updates! DiaryLand/LiveJournal/XML NewsFeed The 12% BeerGarden: "Don't Just Read What We Say... Talk Back!" Marn's "Race for the Rack" - Sexy BeerMate Drawings Doug's Queer Makeover! - BEERGEAR! Buy This Shit Right Now! BIRTHDAY JAN.08 - Fu-Fu JAN.10 - TVZero JAN.20 - LadeeLeroy JAN.25 - MollyX FEB.19 - Sundry FEB.22 - Rudey MAR.15 - LeeboZeebo MAR.27 - Mangus MAY.04 - Disco MAY.17 - Halee MAY.22 - Marn JUN.11 - FadeIn LOO-OOVE! Weetabix - JUN.13 St.Louise - JUN.20 Biensoul - AUG.04 TheCritic - AUG.04 Skim - AUG.05 AdWhore - AUG.29 CuppaJoe - AUG.29 Ms-M - SEP.11 JamieStar - SEP.26 JWalker - DEC.27 Ann-Frank - DEC.29 12% Beer - OCT.01,2001 12% BeerHall Of Fame 12% Buttons! FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove It's a good thing cats don't have opposable thumbs because we were getting close to the stage where they'd start throwing rocks at us. Open marn's page in a new window view an illustration of marn! Sunday, September 14, 2003 Apparently the bible is one of those magical religious books that vibrates with the word of god, and you can fuck your wife with it. Happy marriage indeed! Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Sunday, September 14, 2003 My feelings open their collective wallets when they read these things, and little moths fly out. You can't buy stuff with moths, guys. Not a damn thing. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window view an illustration of leebozeebo! Sunday, September 14, 2003 Recently it seems the only thing I really want to do is sit on my couch until I get hungry for a breakfast taco and then I go and get one and I sit on my couch some more. Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window view an illustration of ladeeleroy! Sunday, September 14, 2003 For the record I was sitting on the floor in my pajama pants with no underwear on and reading the old journal and thinking, "Goddamn, I need to lose some weight." Open biensoul's page in a new window view an illustration of biensoul! Sunday, September 14, 2003 Embarrassing moment - I fell asleep on one of those super comfortable chairs in the Business School library while I was trying to read, and when I woke up, I had a Supreme Boner, and there was a girl giggling real softly, but clearly directed at me. When she realized she'd been caught, she was all hiding behind her book, but the deed had been done. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window view an illustration of leebozeebo! Saturday, September 13, 2003 I failed the test on the parallel parking, succeeding not only to go over the five minute time limit, but in my frustration, running into two of the poles behind me. Oops. Open biensoul's page in a new window view an illustration of biensoul! Saturday, September 13, 2003 It definitely had lots of flavour, I just couldn't decide if it was a good flavour addition... Open cuppajoe's page in a new window view an illustration of cuppajoe! Saturday, September 13, 2003 The truth is, my dearest loves, that I'm tired. I'm getting restless. With all these new challenges I'm facing, I keep thinking there are more out THERE for me, somewhere. Open biensoul's page in a new window view an illustration of biensoul! Friday, September 12, 2003 i'm going to marry this one. Open anniewaits's page in a new window view an illustration of anniewaits! Friday, September 12, 2003 My first response was to imagine my septic tank hissing to a nearby maple tree, "I sweartogawd, if that woman washes one more baked bean supper down with a couple of beers, I will spew doo doo from here to Timbuktu." Open marn's page in a new window view an illustration of marn! Friday, September 12, 2003 We will swoop in on our prey. We don't care who we hurt! We will break up couples. Maybe I can get him to go for Hugh Jackman's wife! Ohhhhhh! Open jwalker's page in a new window view an illustration of jwalker! Friday, September 12, 2003 I suspect that she fears that I would attempt to seduce her, and she'd be absolutely right. There would be a seduction attempt (of course) shortly followed by success (naturally) and what would that get us? Open fadein's page in a new window view an illustration of fadein! Friday, September 12, 2003 It should be ready to party all night and then go to work the next morning wearing the same clothes and smelling like sex and leather. It should try to sneak a peak down my cleavage. And most importantly, it should give me a little flutter in my stomach every time I walk outside, jingling my keys. Open weetabix's page in a new window view an illustration of weetabix! Friday, September 12, 2003 Until I am able to somehow shake myself out of the funk, I’m committed to be waaaaay funky. And certainly not in an Al Green, smooth-talking-you-out-of-your-pants way. Open saint-louise's page in a new window view an illustration of saint-louise! Friday, September 12, 2003 This is something I deep down knew was on the verge of happening, but a little part of me truly believed that he might be immortal and that I'd never have to read the news with "Johnny Cash" and "dead" mentioned in the same sentence. Open halee's page in a new window view an illustration of halee! Friday, September 12, 2003 A couple of weeks ago, for kicks, Jam-Packed-Life threw in a couple of days where my body attempted to expel any internal organs that were installed shoddily out of any viable orifice, accompanied by unpleasant fluids in Technicolor. Open saint-louise's page in a new window view an illustration of saint-louise! Friday, September 12, 2003 I must say though, LusciousA and myself do certainly look quite smashing in the highly hot and sexual sort of way with our new "do's". I would do us hard, loud, and fast if I could (and I just might anyway). Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Friday, September 12, 2003 I’m sure I was only a few sips away from busting out the C-word. Open tvzero's page in a new window view an illustration of tvzero! Thursday, September 11, 2003 Squibb is weird. Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Thursday, September 11, 2003 I woke up, sure, but there was no way in the fiery depths of hell that my body was moving. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window view an illustration of cuppajoe! Thursday, September 11, 2003 Honorable Vaginal Discharge. You can't really get much more obnoxious than that without mentioning Hitler, I think. Open fadein's page in a new window view an illustration of fadein! Thursday, September 11, 2003 Is that the most terrible, horrible, wonderful thing you have ever heard in your entire life? On so many different levels? I love it so much that I need to use it in a song. Open jwalker's page in a new window view an illustration of jwalker! Thursday, September 11, 2003 And then it was noon, which was time for lunch, so I had another bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and decided that if I didn’t have Esteban around, I would undoubtedly subside on cereal, toast and peanut butter and undoubtedly die of malnutrition weighing 550 pounds. Open weetabix's page in a new window view an illustration of weetabix! Thursday, September 11, 2003 They'll be lucky if I'm still utilizing the English language when I come back, instead of what I'm sure will be a system of highly complex grunts and obscene hand gestures May and I will devise when talking gets to be too difficult. Open mollyx's page in a new window view an illustration of mollyx! Thursday, September 11, 2003 As for school work, my Spanish class is raping me. Open thecritic's page in a new window view an illustration of thecritic! Thursday, September 11, 2003 Open discothekid's page in a new window view an illustration of discothekid! Thursday, September 11, 2003 I fear for the future of the republic. Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Thursday, September 11, 2003 Of course, I'm always attracted to women that know how to write. If you can form a complete thought, I'm already getting kind of hot. If that complete thought is contained in a complete and coherent sentence, then I have likely popped a boner. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window view an illustration of leebozeebo! Thursday, September 11, 2003 I ... I ... I thought we were having A Special Moment. Open marn's page in a new window view an illustration of marn! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 So basically they freak themselves to death. Weird. Open sundry's page in a new window view an illustration of sundry! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 He was a hell of a guy and one of the nicest people I met in diaryland. Open ms-m's page in a new window view an illustration of ms-m! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 I'm thinking about getting one for my brother. At that price, you just can't go wrong, and his own facial hair seems to be often way too unruly. Like a pirate. Or the Amish. Or a strange combination of the two. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window view an illustration of leebozeebo! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 So... is there something we can do to radiate platonicness? Josh suggested acting super gay in the presence of hot guys... but I don't think he'll follow through. It's a good idea, though! Open jwalker's page in a new window view an illustration of jwalker! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Well, I will if I can stop staring off into the distance with a stupid smile on my face long enough to type out an entry. Open mollyx's page in a new window view an illustration of mollyx! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Seriously. Don't sleep with me if you're easily freaked out or aren't partial to waking up to what may be a corpse. Open fadein's page in a new window view an illustration of fadein! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 We're going to live in Spain AND Vegas!!!! Or maybe there isn't any need for Vegas if there is gambling in Spain? (Which I'm pretty sure there is, and if there isn't...fuck it, we'll go to Monte Carlo!) Open halee's page in a new window view an illustration of halee! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Other credible sources say that in a no-holds-barred battle to the death in a ring of eternal fire, LeeboZeebo could totally take the Mayor of Toronto. Shit, he looks 90 years old. Most sane people have bet on LeeboZeebo. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window view an illustration of leebozeebo! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Afterwards, I asked him how it was. "I can't lie," he said, "it's a little scary." Which means I would have barfed all over myself in terror then had a heart attack and died, so I'm glad he went and not me. Open sundry's page in a new window view an illustration of sundry! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 The interview went about as well as things did the day that the Hindernberg crashed into the Titanic and caused that earthquake in San Francisco. Open fadein's page in a new window view an illustration of fadein! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Casey gets annoying when I'm in a tough race with Anthony, and need all my concentration, and all of a sudden there is a dog in the room who is licking my elbow, despite my pleas to "Gooo. Awaaay!" Open cuppajoe's page in a new window view an illustration of cuppajoe! Wednesday, September 10, 2003 No entry today. Open weetabix's page in a new window view an illustration of weetabix! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 He worries about what sorts of people are out there, that the internet is composed mostly of deranged psychopaths. Open marn's page in a new window view an illustration of marn! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 53 days until my possible trip to Seattle for binge drinking, hijinks. Open halee's page in a new window view an illustration of halee! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 Hey, I’ve been hit by a car a couple times already. What’s one more? Open tvzero's page in a new window view an illustration of tvzero! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 Why not resolve the doubt I have in your performance? After all you would be addressing the very guy whose journal was attacked for expressing my opinion of you, that opinion being that you are deplorable in biblical proportions, however there is no need for name-calling. Besides, I’m no longer bitter about those rabble-rousers in my guest book. They’ve pretty much left me alone now that the war no longer pre-empts wrestling. Open discothekid's page in a new window view an illustration of discothekid! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 now, my porn site, it's a little, well, not really classy, but it doesn't have, you know, those animated gifs of a woman's head boppin up and down on a wee-wee with her face covered in...okay, you get it. Open adwhore's page in a new window view an illustration of adwhore! Tuesday, September 9, 2003 I love potato chips with the love that only comes from the heart of a 52-year-old woman who is completely aware that potato chips are insanely bad for you. Open marn's page in a new window view an illustration of marn! Monday, September 8, 2003 Then we went home and Mo cut the lawn, Esteban cleaned the kitchen, and I cleaned the rest of the house. Apparently, to keep our house clean, it takes a villiage. Or at very least, three people. Open weetabix's page in a new window view an illustration of weetabix! Monday, September 8, 2003 It was the first time a director ever said fuck to me. It holds a fond place in my heart. Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window view an illustration of ladeeleroy! Monday, September 8, 2003 Life'll find ya Wherever you go Requiescat in pace That's all she wrote Open mollyx's page in a new window view an illustration of mollyx! Monday, September 8, 2003 I shall drink you even if you are of the $6.48 cent persuasion. Down my throat you will go and in my stomach you will live until your spells are no longer needed. Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window view an illustration of ladeeleroy! Monday, September 8, 2003 Store bought chips in my home? If my mother only knew she may kill herself just so she could roll over in her grave. Open tvzero's page in a new window view an illustration of tvzero! Monday, September 8, 2003 Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Monday, September 8, 2003 i've got cool art on the walls, free drinks at the bar and classy ass dinners. good deal, right? Open adwhore's page in a new window view an illustration of adwhore! Monday, September 8, 2003 It's just as obnoxious and stupid as me saying "Capitol Hill? You live in Capitol Hill? Aren't you scared of getting attacked by roving homosexuals?" Open sundry's page in a new window view an illustration of sundry! Sunday, September 7, 2003 "We need to go to Canada and fuck some shit up" Open mangus's page in a new window view an illustration of mangus! Sunday, September 7, 2003 After months and months of delay and putting it off, she decided that the dog would be better off if he wasn't suffering. Open fadein's page in a new window view an illustration of fadein! Sunday, September 7, 2003 I've already learned seven clever designs for a lamp made out of dried cat dookie, dental floss, and catfish bones. Open fu-fu's page in a new window view an illustration of fu-fu! Sunday, September 7, 2003 Click Here for the 12% Archives, You Sweet-Lookin' MonkeyLover! It's Time To MonkeyRape Austin! CONFIRMED ATTENDEES: Biensoul ~ LadeeLeroy ~ LeeboZeebo ~ Sundry ~ Weetabix CAPTION CONTEST on Da'NOISE! 12% BeerHall of Fame Former BeerMates Who Went Above & Beyond The Call Of Duty And Made The Ultimate Sacrifice So We Could Practice MonkeyLoving And Not Be Shunned By Society. All Hail The BeerHall Of Famers! AnnieWaits GoFigure Jeffy KellyK Motherlode Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!