And for both Diarylanders and Non-Diarylanders, you can "Syndicate" 12% by using our new "Rich Site Summary (RSS)" Feed! This brings 12% updates directly to your desktop through a small piece of "newsfeed" software available through sites such as FeedReader or Headline News! (Both are free!)
12% on your desktop! Imagine the unfettered MonkeyLove!
Throw a party. Invite everyone you know. Send out one of those mass e-mails that you loathe receiving and make the subject line: PARTY! WHOO!
I gave him my most over-the-top Groucho type leer, eyed him up and down with mock lasciviousness and said, "All dat AND BREAKFAST TOO! Honey, sign me up!"
But I was not to be defeated, I had to wear something to the party and god damn it, it was gonna be those pants. So I took a black magic marker and colored over the spots.
Not that I spent my personal time surfing that kind of thing, oh no. *cough* It's been purely for research purposes. For my book. About...uh....porn. Or something.
It looked so bad, though, that when the doctor came back to tell me the results of the x-rays, he said, “I can’t believe it, but… it’s not broken. I don’t know how.”
Plus, my ass is way more evil, I promise. Which would you choose? Some supposedly demented little girl coming out of your TV or my ass trying to kill you?
What mattered was the stars, roly poly little carnivores that make some of the most terrifying sounds I've ever heard and would chew a limb off you if they could.
I haven't gotten so worked up about onscreen studliness since I was 12 and saw that one kissing scene in Top Gun (you know, where you could see Tom Cruise's tongue?)
Tracy bought one of those Pilates(pih-lah-teas) tapes last week, and I keep called them "Pie-Lates", and it reminds me of Pie Plates, and that reminds me of Pie. Apple, Lemon, Pumpkin. I love Pie.
I've taken off the HaloScan comments for now, because their system is always down, and gives mucho annoying javascript errors.
It's All About MonkeyLove (the FAQs)
What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing?
12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland.
Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp?
I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks...
What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party?
The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too.
Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates.
If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do?
