Ann-Frank- AnnieWaits- CuppaJoe- DiscoTheKid- FadeIn- Fu-Fu- JamieStar- Jeffy- LadeeLeroy- Mangus- Marn- MollyX- Ms-M- Rudey- Saint-Louise- Skim- Sundry- TheCritic- TVZero- Weetabix-

First the awards, then... The World! Bwa-ha-ha! Yup, Sweet Weet kicked some ass and made bitches of the Diarist.net Awards, raking in all 3 categories she was nominated in! Congrats Weet! News of the Beer Diaryland Member? Be sure and add twelvebeer to your buddylist to know when 12% updates, like these Foxy MonkeyLovers. LiveJournal User? You can keep track of our updates with the 12% LiveJournal page! You could also roll around naked in our updates using our NewsFeed! - 12%Diaryland - FreeBeerLovers - Archives - FAQs - BeerMates = Foxy Bitches! - Buttons! - BeerGarden MessageBoard! - Pitas! - Dland! - XML/RSS Newsfeed While turning my colon inside out (mere minutes ago), I actually thought of the words, "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Because seriously, why have you? It was just a milkshake, was that so wrong? Open skim's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 I said "I will only hate the French is there are no hot-sexy men in the entire country" and as of right this second, I know that there are INDEED hot sexy men in that country. Open mangus's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 I am a lip-licking fool, desperately looking around for anything that looks vaguely moisturizing, such as a stick of butter or perhaps a can of Penzoil. Open sundry's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 BWAHAHAA THERE A DOG! Look at he dancing! White folk is funny! You show that honky! Fight her! Fight the bitch! Daaamn! Open thecritic's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 disco the kid: During the Clinton years there was talk of a tremendous surplus our economy had acquired as a result of the dot com boom. Where do you think all of that money went? Best guess. uncle bob: Necklaces for Monica. Open discothekid's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 "Je cherche des choses qu'on met dans les souličres pour manger les odeurs," I said, pointing energetically at my feet, as if The Source Of All Understanding was right there in my sneakers. Open marn's page in a new window Sunday, March 23, 2003 My stance on the war (sadly) can be summed up by a scene from a Simpson's Monkey Paw episode, where Homer is tempted to buy the cursed item. Open skim's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 They were saying "Come to us Mangus, come to us and experience sexual nirvana" but the only thing that I was thinking was "dear lord, do they have those hideous tables lamps EVERYWHERE in their house?" Open mangus's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 What do you say to someone who watched his best friend turn into a cloud of red mist? I had to dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand to keep from crying with him. Open skim's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 If you read that I died in tragic accident while swallowing some putty (although it sounds like something I would do) – it will be no accident. Open tvzero's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 We’d communicate by English-Japanese dictionary – I remember being diagnosed with bronchitis, and wanting to warn her so she could prevent getting sick, but not being able to make her understand with mere hand gestures. So I frantically point to every similar disease in The Dictionary until she got it. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 I am willing to bet you that if I put a bumper sticker on my car that simply said, “I’m against the war,” and parked my car on a main street (even in Brooklyn) I bet you my vehicle would get incinerated. It would be like putting a bullseye right on the windshield. Who wants to bet me? Open discothekid's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 He showed the bomb to me. It was a blue tube in a plastic baggie. Darrel told me that the next time the Bully tried to do anything, he would light the fuse and stuff it down the pants of his antagonist. Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 "Yeah, I called and told them they better fucking air my shows tonight instead of this war bullshit." Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 What an incredibly interesting week it's been in my new "pod". Open msm's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 The last five minutes of the WB show, ANGEL was interrupted last night by news of “decapitation strike” in the Gulf. As a result wife curses out entire U.S military. Open discothekid's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 Bear on bear violence is such a damn shame. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 I guess it was suppose to sound inspiring or comforting or something but instead it sounded like a twisted hurdy-gurdy gone amuck and the whole experience was just so bizarre and unreal I felt sick and terrible. Open annfrank's page in a new window Friday, March 21, 2003 Anthony loved them, and did many inappropriate things with them at the table and creeped out the waitress a lot. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 After 48 seconds, the Bill and Josh Alliance became impatient, and eager for fun, and we opened our assault. Open fadein's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 Apparently I'm a huncher, which is no good at all. At first it was determined that I do this at work, but I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I hunch in my sleep, too. Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 Nascar? They are driving around in a circle. With cars. Driving around with cars in a circle. Get over it, people. It’s cars. In. A. Circle. Open weetabix's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 So like, here we are totally at war with the Iroquois. Just as we all have feared. We’re like, most definitely dropping bombs and junk on them and it sounds like a thunder storm when they ‘splode. Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 I stand right in the middle pissing on both sides. I think people that oppose the war are hippy morons, and I think those that are eager to send everybody else to die are redneck idiots. Open discothekid's page in a new window Thursday, March 20, 2003 As it turned out, I was fine, and JB ended up with a nice bright baboon ass. Open sundry's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 All of us, we pretended that this was a spring day like any other. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 What do I want with this war? Nothing. All I want is the chance to sit around and draw things for money, and to have a fine-ass man bend to my every whim. Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 France looks smashing without even trying, and hangs out with Italy, Brazil, and strangely enough, Luxembourg, at the cool country table, meanwhile America has spinach stuck in its teeth and is using its pinky finger to dig wax out of its ear. And then smelling it. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 The Germans understood that WWII was an intervention, not a war against strudel. Open fadein's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Forever is a long time and so much can happen between now and the end that could change everything. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Here's a summary: We're all fucked. We've got it under control. We're all fucked. We started vaccinating doctors last week. We're all fucked. If you have an emergency plan, you will be OK. We're all fucked. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Granted, he's a horrible, evil dictator who would kill his own mother and spit on her grave, but when you bomb the life out of a nation, you become just as bad as he is. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 I’ve found information that links you to the toilets not working properly and the refrigerator light burning out. Yeah you thought I didn’t know about that, but you were wrong and this mistake will cost you. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 "What have I told you about bullying? What have I told you?! That's it. No more Air Force One privileges for you, mister! You've been cut off!" Open rudey's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 I feel the great need to date a Samoan just so I can be like "Oooh baby you are MY carmel delite" and then lick them till I find out where he hides all the sweet stuff. Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 I thought about how it has seemed for so long now as if some great hulking piece of machinery had been set into motion. How it had somehow gained a terrible momentum, like something tumbling down a hill, gathering speed, unable to be stopped. Open sundry's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 this whole war thing has taken its toll on my respect for humanity. you see, people suck. i know this. you know this. but for the most part someone sucking doesn’t usually end up with a lot of people dead. Open tvzero's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 Crikey! I hope the Big Wigs don't believe in hazing! Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, March 18, 2003 I suspect that he squelched his propensity to sound like an inbred dirt farmer in the beginning, but once he locked that gold band around my ring finger, his grammar was nothing more than an old lady baking cookies. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 I have this picture of Dubya slipping a note reading "Check yes or no and give it to me by 6th period. Oh yeah, France smells like wieners!" into Iraq's locker. Now he's waiting with all his very best girlfriends outside of the gym and obsessively applying strawberry Lip Smackers. Open mollyx's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 Kick a stranger. Blame the illness. Curse out your roommate. Blame the illness. Insult your parents. Blame the illness. Elbow your sister ‘cause she tries to hug you. Blame the illness. (Hmmph stupid sister). Harbor weapons of mass destruction. Blame the illness. Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 I seriously voted for a comic from Laugh In, there was a big thing about it. I voted for Pat Paulson in 2000. Al Gore creeps me out. He reminds me of a pervert. Open discothekid's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 I had bolted awake and then said something to the effect of “Hey asshole, that’s your alarm.” Because when I am asleep, my inner sailor comes out to play and I am not the refined belle of femininity that I play on the internet. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 I mean, that seduction scene in Presumed Innocent that involves a desk, a woman, and Harrison with his trou down around his ankles? It Never Crossed My Mind while I was deciding whether or not I wanted to see this movie again. Open marn's page in a new window Monday, March 17, 2003 You can now "Syndicate" 12% by using our new RSS NewsFeed! This brings 12% updates directly to your desktop through a small piece of "newsfeed" software available through sites such as FeedReader or Headline News! (Both are free!) 12% on your desktop! Imagine the unfettered MonkeyLove! IF THIS CONFUSES YOU, AS IT DID THE 12% MONKEYS, WE WILL HELP YOU SET THIS UP! 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