AdWhore AnnFrank AnnieWaits BienSoul CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn Halee JamieStar LeeboZeebo Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Lee-Starnes comes out of retirement looking to feel & kick ass! New BeerMates! BienSoul, AdWhore, Halee Know when 12% Updates! DLand Favorites, LJ Syndication and an XML/RSS NewsFeed make it easy! Seen all our banners yet? We got lots and lots! Mangus designed a whole bunch which make lesser mortals squeal with delight because Joey made a few and even lovely Marn contributed! More Buttons! 12% BeerHall Of Fame 12% Buttons! FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove I had a good workout. It helped that there were a bunch of new people in class - I can't help it, I love seeing people crap out before I do. Open sundry's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 What I apparently did do was dance in the strobe light wearing a pair of reindeer antlers that I found somewhere in the apartment. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 I’m not complaining but is everybody a closet homosexual until they get a little liquor in them? Open thecritic's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 Strong coffee + a relaxed Saturday morning = SURVEY! (Have you taken Billi's survey yet? He'll whine and moan if you don't pimp it out like it was a Hooker made out of Solid Gold - Look, Flaming Moe, TheCritic, BienSoul & Sundry have taken it... I'll link BeerMates here as they take it...) Open fadein's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 Well, he can hardly believe that strangers we don't know briefly crowned him Google's "Mr. Wangitude" and even pitched in with tee shirt ideas. Open marn's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 a) i had really long hair b) i wanted to deep-fry my hair c) i deep-fried my hair d) we ate my hair e) it was good. Open adwhore's page in a new window Saturday, April 26, 2003 Not that Los Angeles is growing on me or anything... Open fadein's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 The same thing happened to the only home movie of me as a child. And the one of my best friend and I making up commercials for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter while drunk on Grandma's wine. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 I better stay away from you or I might make out with you. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 Plus, I've been nothing but all talk and no action in regards to the oral sex I keep promising her. And that's just whack. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 I wasn't sure what to make of him, because he had a beard. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 One student was listed as the wrong character in the program. He threw a fit and quit. On Opening Night. Four minutes before the curtain came up. Open biensoul's page in a new window Friday, April 25, 2003 i guess this is how christina aguilera felt when she was discovered. you know it. Open adwhore's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 You know you're having a bad day when a homeless guy makes fun of you. Open msm's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 Well, it started to dry out my skin, plus- there's kind of something... I don't know, dorky about rubbing it on my face, so I've taken to snorting it in a huge whiff right out of the bottle. Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 Any attempt at theft of any ideas herein will be punishable by death, most especially by any Hollywood douchebags who might be reading this, i.e. Tom Cruise. Open halee's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 Error: Smeared the garlic on the floor intentionally just to have something to write about. Open fadein's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 Then Abby requested some cherry Pop Tarts. But of course! Because Auntie Weety is the BEST AUNTIE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and anything goes. As God as my witness, not one natural or healthy thing would find its way inside that child’s body while I was at the wheel! Open weetabix's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 They need to put a warning label on exercise: May cause dehydration, muscle aches, cramps, nausea, vomiting, and occasionally death. Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 The words "lazy" and "disorganized" had been bandied about in my general direction. Open marn's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 Now, I won't get graphic here, but let's just say it was a perfectly normal bathroom visit that did not involve, say, the aftermath of a bad taco, or anything of that nature. Open sundry's page in a new window Thursday, April 24, 2003 I don't clean up my neighborhood or read to blind children or feed poor, beakless ducks or anything. Open rudey's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 The obvious solution to that one is to hit him in the face with a shovel. Wait...how old are these kids? Well, if they're old enough for a good old fashioned shovel-smacking, go for it. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 i have lots of public service announcements today as it seems the world has gone mad. no surprise to you i'm sure, you crazy mother fucker. Open adwhore's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 What's The Point Of Being At The Top Of The Food Chain If You Can't Gorge On The Losers? Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 For your edification GLBT is not a sandwich, it refers to Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender individuals. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 I was worried that if anyone lit a match near me, my entire colon would blow out into the room. Now that would have been a bitch to clean. Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Crap-ass day. Should "crap-ass" even be hyphenated? Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 My mother says I should adopt an Asian kid because they are born already knowing how to read. Open discothekid's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 And now I provide a message for each and every person on 12%, based solely on their most recent entries, because I'm way too lazy to read everything I've missed: Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Snoopy can't sing. Linus is having a nervous breakdown. Woodstock doesn't like her costume. Marcy is ready to rip everyone's heads off. Open biensoul's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 GO CANUCKS! GO! Open msm's page in a new window Wednesday, April 23, 2003 I'm back to tell you everything you ever wanted to know about me and then some. Because my life is just that goddamn interesting, punk. You read it. You read it and like it. Open leebozeebo's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 I don't appreciate the irony of the fact that it's TV Turn-Off Week, either. Open rudey's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Oh, the symbolism. Too bad I have no fucking clue what it means. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 One is a delightfully busty blond woman, and the other is a guy who dresses like a Blockbuster video employee and has pervert written all over him. Open fadein's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 She has had a lot of practice with that mouth configuration. Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Somewhere near Brooksville, we saw these rainbow clouds. Like, those wispy ones that look like feathers except they were rainbows. I have never seen anything like that. It was like aurora borealis but at noon and in the South. And gay pride-ish. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 "How the hell am I gonna fix this by Monday?!" Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Yes, I went to a strip club and a church in the same weekend. Both are fairly rare activities for me, so I figure they cancel each other out. Whee! Open sundry's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 I did that little z-snap thing that hip and happening (and more co-ordinated) people do, and I... uh... I think I dislocated my shoulder. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Tuesday, April 22, 2003 I've never really taken the time to stop and look at all the other people wandering around downtown Savannah and....holy fuck...this city is totally crawling with FAGS! Open mangus's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 “That’s the first time I’ve ever made celery!” Open jamiestar's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 Easter was worse though. Easter we had to actually wear pants and comb our hair. Open tvzero's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 She’s not hitting anyone. She’s not cussing like a sailor. She’s just sad and angry at the balls of cotton that have appeared where her thoughts used to be. Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 Hey. Why aren't you wearing Saran Wrap? Open saintlouise's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 I went and saw Phone Booth on Friday because my boyfriend's voice is in it. An hour and forty-five minutes of Kiefer growling out commands and swearing. Hot. Hot. Hott! Open rudey's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 "Well it’s 4/20, it’s practically a holiday.” Open thecritic's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 What if an "asshole" was a unit of measurement? Like "How much vanilla goes into this frosting, Marge?" "Oh, about two assholes." Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, April 21, 2003 Click Here for the 12% Archives, You Sweet-Lookin' MonkeyLover! 12% BeerHall of Fame Former BeerMates Who Went Above & Beyond The Call Of Duty And Made The Ultimate Sacrifice So We Could Practice MonkeyLoving And Not Be Shunned By Society. All Hail The BeerHall Of Famers! Fu-Fu GoFigure Jeffy KellyK LadeeLeroy Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!