Fu-Fu- JamieStar- Jeffy- LadeeLeroy- Mangus- Marn- MollyX- Ms-M-
Rudey- Saint-Louise- Skim- Sundry- TheCritic- TVZero- Weetabix-
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Diarylanders - Add 12%'s Diaryland Page to your buddylist by adding "twelvebeer" like these people! Or, "Syndicate" 12% with our RSS NewsFeed! |
Affairs of the state: Clinton putting a cigar up some intern's pussy. Open rudey's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003 
Show him how to wink at his mom and his dad and his sister Heather when they are lonely. Open weetabix's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003 
Sure finger tips and ears may just be decoration but quite frankly I’d rather keep them than lose them… you just never know when they’ll come in handy. Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003 
Ahhhhh. Nothing says, "Heaven! I'm in heaven!" like Fred Astaire and me with a day off of work. Jealous? You should be suckas! Open msm's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003 
I am still going outside at 2 in the morning to look for snowflakes. Shut up. It has snowed in Central Florida before. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003 
ann-frank ain’t no fool. ann-frank’s getting the hell out of town on a super top secret mission that involves a little city called San Francisco. Open annfrank's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003
I think we all can agree that the scariest thing about Global Warming is the potential for fat guys walking around in Speedos ALL YEAR ROUND! Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, January 24, 2003
Becca says that your upper body feels completely normal but from the waist down you can't feel a damn thing. How much fun could that be on a Saturday night? The possibilities are endless. Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003
This "having fun" thing you people are always talking about...does it hurt? What about the cost? Do I have to sign over any valuables or first-born daughters? Are batteries included? Open mollyx's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
I fear perhaps that my days of sitting in the shadows of palm trees, soaking up warm breezes, while nubile young starlets rub my belly and whisper soothing things to me has dulled my internet pen. Open fadein's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
I would say "What a yucky day" and my father would retort "this is a day the lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it". And I was like "Oh shut the fuck up, dork-hole" Open mangus's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
It's not that I fear the cold. Believe me, if the term "freezing your butt off" held any truth at all, I would gladly head out into those temperatures wearing nothing but a swimsuit. But alas, it is not so. Open marn's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003
Open msm's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
i realized that maybe all the internet shorthand isn’t a horrific and stupid thing after all. of course if i ever type rotflmao i will cut off the other arm in effigy. Open tvzero's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
Why would you let someone go that far to make an ass of themselves? People, when did we stop caring about each other?? Open skim's page in a new window Thursday, January 23, 2003 
She didn’t say anything but I could definitely hear her thinking out loud, “Dougie, what the fuck did you get yourself into this time?” Open discothekid's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I caressed the leather and wanted to smooth my face over it, but didn’t because that would just be weird. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I think I believe in Guardian Toilet Angels now. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003 
I'm going. I am. I dare you to try to stop me. I'll cut you, bitchfucker. Put down the Dose of Reality and back away slowly. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003 
put me in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and you will find me exactly where you left me, sitting on my ass, wailing and throwing sand up in despair. Open anniewaits's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
He predicted that by this morning I would be upgraded from Whoopie Cushion With A Pulse to Weapons Grade Biohazard. Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I was kind of thinking that maybe Shut Up and Fat Boy should hook up cuz they're both total assholes. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003 
"I'm sorry I can't fuck off right now. I'm sorry. There's just not going to be any fucking off on my part at this moment." Open ladeeleroy's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
The drag is if you sit beside them and they end up drooling on your coat or using your shoulder as a cushion. Open msm's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003 
Hollywood Agents are following me on the subway, and I know this because I can tell by the way they read their newspapers. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Then I woke Esteban, who lobbied for “One Last Time in the Old Bed” sex (yeah, yeah, yeah, nostalgia is for old women and people signing yearbooks! Tell it to the girl who popped your cherry, bucko!) Open weetabix's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Hopefully this won’t turn into some sort of bad Lifetime movie called, “My Mother, My Lover” or something equally repulsive. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003 
I can only hope that this total chick night won’t end in a flooded kitchen, a broken leg, and many failed attempts at indoor surfing. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
i've been thinking about what i want to say and have come to the conclusion that my feelings would best be described through an interpretive dance to Tupac Shakur's "Changes". Open anniewaits's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
You see that shadowy spectre hiding behind the sofa? That's not John Denver. That's karma waiting to shank your ass. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
i tried to get them to give me a cyborg hand, like luke skywalker got at the end of empire, but they said it was too expensive, or some bullshit about them “not being in stock.” Open tvzero's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
When he is confronted with The Track Suit of Doom, my stepbrother knows better than to consider initiating anything of a nookilicious nature. Open marn's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003
People you have no idea what a sexy bitch I am! Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, January 21, 2003 
Goodness Gracious Great Gobs O' Snot would be good name for a decongestant. Open sundry's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
I completed my interview with the Raelian Hi-Priest. I’m fine. I wasn’t cloned. There are no other Disco The Kids to speak of. I am however, utterly weird-ed out. Open discothekid's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
1) she keeps asking me if i'm relaxed 2) the milk stinks 3) i've never had someone touch my face so much before, and 4) i feel like an idiot with dry stinking milk on my face. Open anniewaits's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
Jamie’s mom and I never had sex, and Jamie was born courtesy of some holy spirit in a little stable in Bethlehem. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar and Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars Open skim's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
Tantalizing, incredibly long, lusciously more boring than reading the history of nail clippers. O, football. Dear one. Open saintlouise's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
I mean, it's like the same thing. Sit-ups = Cookie-Dough. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Monday, January 20, 2003
This is not a recommended method for anyone trying to read a history of the Middle East. About all I got was, "Something, something, war is bad." Open skim's page in a new window Sunday, January 19, 2003
One thing I don't understand about theatres is why it was decided that the perfect snack, the ultimate in enhancing the movie experience, is popcorn. Why not something quiet, like pudding? Open sundry's page in a new window Sunday, January 19, 2003
He is convinced that Ben can launch a successful hip-hop career, as evidenced by that scene in C*hasing Amy where he does the whole, "Go Holden, it's yer birthday, get busy..." Open skim's page in a new window Sunday, January 19, 2003
I am sad to report that my Empire Strikes Back T-shirt is currently in the hamper so I am still a bit under-prepared. Open discothekid's page in a new window Sunday, January 19, 2003 |
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What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! |
Blogroll 12%!
MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%:
New BeerMates!
Mangus
Weetabix
TheCritic
TVZero
MollyX
Ms-M
Yup! #6 was our dear Mangus, who has graduated from Illustrator/Honourary BeerMate to the normal BeerMate level (which is, in case you're wondering, "Funkaholic BeerMate Extreme")!!!
Mangus was off fighting crime in his orange spandex, and forgot to reply to the Invitation. Silly Mangus!
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