AnnFrank AnnieWaits CuppaJoe DiscoTheKid FadeIn JamieStar Mangus Marn MollyX Ms-M Rudey Saint-Louise Skim Sundry TheCritic TVZero Weetabix

Know when 12% Updates! Diaryland Buddylists, LiveJournal Syndication and The 12% XML/RSS NewsFeed make it easy AND stylish to Keep Up With Your Daily Quota of the Beer! It's Beer-Fueled MonkeyLove! Hosted by White Noise, The Forum of Fox-o-rama, The 12% BeerGarden is THE place to talk about all things 12% Beer! 12%Diaryland FreeBeerLovers Archives FAQs 12% BeerGarden: A Forum Of MonkeyLove In Transition: The BeerMate Drawings and The BeerButtons! I’ll probably be given a bed and told to live in the hallway or pitch tent in woods somewhere. If worse comes to worse I can squat on one of nearby farms. Open thecritic's page in a new window Saturday, March 29, 2003 The waist would be tight, but the part that was supposed to be covering my boobs most certainly was not doing its job. Why is that? Huh? DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME WEIRD FUCKING BODY ISSUES, YOU GODDAMN FASHION DESIGNER PEOPLE. Open mollyx's page in a new window Saturday, March 29, 2003 "Bitch, don't you be touching my Napoleon III french antique style Boule table...'else yo wantchoo an ass whoopin'!!" Open mangus's page in a new window Saturday, March 29, 2003 "Feelin' all safe in the H-2-izzo, Thanks to the work of Jacques Coust-izzo." Open fadein's page in a new window Saturday, March 29, 2003 There is paint peeling off the walls around the desk at this very moment, because of the aromatic biohazard spewing from my mouth right now. Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Saturday, March 29, 2003 JB's due to arrive in about an hour, so in honor of his return I ran the vacuum halfheartedly for a minute or two. That is just the type of goodhearted wife I am, people. Open sundry's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 “Drugs are fine as long as you only do them once.” Open thecritic's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 I made Mushrooms en Croute tonight. It was good. I should be getting mad amounts of ass cuz my skills with puff pastry are so grand. Seriously. You hear that, Jimmy Fallon? I can manipulate your puff pastry, baby. Any time you want. Open mollyx's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 "Bitch...you're gonna crack my back." Open mangus's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 She didn't have illicit sex with a President in his office when he was supposed to be greeting heads of state not getting it instead. Open msm's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 I was collecting water from stumps because I suspected that it was poison. I was going to use it to kill my stepfather. Open weetabix's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 Come on...you know you wanna get greased up like a frightened (yet very good smelling) pig and use me like a human "slip 'n' slide"....you know you do, you dirty bastards...you disgust me (you know I like it). Open mangus's page in a new window Friday, March 28, 2003 What else could go wrong with this world? We're at war, on high terror alert, I'm still unemployed, still not a size 2, my left big toenail is black, I'm in the middle of a random acne breakout...I don't need to spell this out, do I? Hello? Apocalypse! Open skim's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 Normally I admire evilness as a quality in people, but this chick gives evil a bad name. Open thecritic's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 JB missed the ocean most of all, and diving. (Although he did dive in Lake Mead. See anything? I asked afterwards. A shopping cart, he replied sadly.) Open sundry's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 It looked like the center of the table was encircled with plates of pink, quivering boobs. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 There's something to be said for having someone around to bring you soup and pet your head even though your hair is all gross because you haven't showered and you look like crap. Open rudey's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 This one time, I found an ancient wooden box that smelled like incense with a chipped painting of the Virgin Mary and boy, did she looked PISSED. Open mollyx's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 sometimes i have a second lunch just because the first one didn’t have enough tacos. Open tvzero's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 I swear to GOD the pets get extra obnoxious when JB's gone. This morning I was ready to send them to the pound, or possibly to cram them both in a wood chipper. Open sundry's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 Okay, I'll admit it. I'd marry his bank account. Open msm's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 In today's adventure, I further embarass myself! Yay! Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Thursday, March 27, 2003 Esteban : Menthol is actually the opposite of ass. What if I put on the lotion and then scratched my ass… would they counteract each other and I’d have a fresh and clean hand and could touch you? Weetabix : The real question is who would get the cat in the divorce. Open weetabix's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 I have this theory that the more you wear glasses, the lazier the eye becomes and then the next thing you know, you need a new prescription. Gotta give the eye muscles a workout lest they end up looking like my inner thigh. Open skim's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 I think my testicles just fell off and rolled under the desk. Open thecritic's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 My only option was to go to the administration office of the gym and admit my stupidity. The office, of course, was packed with people because what's the point of doing something stupid and only confessing your stupidity to one person? Open marn's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 As you can see from the guestbook, two girls with whom I went to high school do not remember the aforementioned bomb incident. Apparently, they were too busy putting their energy into refusing to date me to pay attention to the fact that I was briefly jailed. Open fadein's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 I have been sans scanner for awhile, but now I have a new one...and it looks like it's made out of candy (but it's not, I've already licked it...a few times). Open mangus's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Would it help if I tell you that I've been carving "Life Rocks" into bathroom stall doors? Cuz I'm not, but I think about it sometimes. Cuz life does rock, fuckers. Open mollyx's page in a new window Wednesday, March 26, 2003 My exercise regime, which was passable at best before we moved is now non-existant. I can see the exercise bike out of the corner of my eye and I swear it just turned it's handle bars up at me. How rude! Open msm's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 If I could make love to the outdoors right now I would and I bet Mother Nature is a demon in the sack. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 For years I grew up worshipping not Jesus Christ, but Jee-juss Christ. "You have to pray to Jee-juss, Jee-juss!" my mom would say. Open skim's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 I am the love slave of cheesy poufs. Open marn's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 If you don’t treat your bartender like a GOD, you are a moron. Open jamiestar's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Look up! Look up! The clouds are lifting - the sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world. A kind new world where men will rise above their hate and brutality. Open discothekid's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 The beach would be very good right now. So would some camping. Camping on the beach would be fucking orgasmic. Open mollyx's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Yes, I did! Danced for a full hour! In our office/gear room! In a sports bra and capri leggings! Did I look like a turbo-dork? Yes, I did! Open sundry's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 I had an aunt who was cheating on her husband with a Jamaican drug lord and the mailman. Open thecritic's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Edward can have his skank, I don't care. I have me a new man now! And he's an OSCAR winner, unlike SOME whore-loving person I know. Open rudey's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Anyone have their apendix removed or their tonsils taken out? Yep...firey pits of hell for you. Too bad. Atleast I'm going to hell for having hot, torrid man-sex and making GirlScouts wet themselves. Open mangus's page in a new window Tuesday, March 25, 2003 the putty is missing!!! the putty is missing!!! Open tvzero's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 Bombing for Peace is Like Fucking for Virginity! Open discothekid's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 "Right now, there are dozens of men all over the world ejaculating for no reason. That's how sexy we are." Open mollyx's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 We’d been out a handful of times and the way things were going, well, the next millennium would roll around before he’d put-out. Open annfrank's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 Excellent! Rawk! That shot is the bomb! I love that shot! That shot is the best thing ever! I love that shot! I wish I had that shot right now! Open weetabix's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 "Shake that dog booty!" Open sundry's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 "Hoooo-eeeey! That Blew Up REEAAALLL Good!" Open cuppajoe's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 "Hi! I'm Mr. Sexy Legs of Blue Heron Drive!" Open skim's page in a new window Monday, March 24, 2003 You can now "Syndicate" 12% by using our new RSS NewsFeed! This brings 12% updates directly to your desktop through a small piece of "newsfeed" software available through sites such as FeedReader or Headline News! (Both are free!) 12% on your desktop! Imagine the unfettered MonkeyLove! IF THIS CONFUSES YOU, AS IT DID THE 12% MONKEYS, WE WILL HELP YOU SET THIS UP! LEAVE A MESSAGE ON THE GUESTBOOK (ON LEFT) OR EMAIL US AND WE'LL HOOK YOU UP! Blogroll 12%! MonkeyLovers Who Have BlogRolled 12%: 12% FAQs! What in the good name of Jesse "The Body" Ventura is this 12% Beer thing? 12% Beer is an experiment to see if funky writing, and a sickening love of monkeys, when distilled and concentrated into one website, can conquer the hearts and souls of the population of the Earth. This will mainly be accomplished by quoting and linking entertaining diaries on Diaryland. Well, who gets to pick what diaries are quoted on 12% Beer? And who quotes them? And who decides what exactly is quoted? And why are my socks always a little damp? I do all that crap. Yes, even the socks thing. All I'm gonna tell you is that ain't apple juice on your socks... What are "BeerMates", and how much does it cost to get one of them to entertain at my child's birthday party? The BeerMates are an elite crew of supernaturally gifted crimefighters who just happen to keep online diaries/journals/evidence logs on the internet. They became BeerMates when they decided to use their forces for evil, and when I decided that their writing was funny, escapist, and quite possibly written while doing hard drugs. Every time they update their pages, 12% updates too. Their birthday party prices range from a few chocolate chip cookies to some good ol' fashioned sexin'. You'll have to email the individual you are interested in to get their particular rates. If I want an easy-to-conjugate superfunky 12% Beer Button to stick on my webpage to come back and see more of all the great monkeylovin' splendiforousness of this page, what do I do? Go Here and grab some HTML code for your page. Why is it called "12% Beer"? It's called that because once apon a time, some diarist people believed that all Canadian Beer was 12% alcohol. It's really 10%, everyone knows that! We Love "Andy The Randy"s Coolest Website On Earth!